Facing the Ex

In any breakup the first time you see your ex, whether it be a random run in at the grocery store – or even an unexpected mutual friend’s post on social media, it can be awkward. How you choose to deal with all those feelings that bubble up, can make or break you… If they see you, do you wave? Do you hug? Do you acknowledge them or just pretend you don’t see them? Do you turn and run?

I’d say most people can avoid their ex pretty easily – especially if they live in a large city or have the ability to move to another city, state, or country. Unfortunately, his new house is only about a mile from mine, so there are plenty of opportunities to bump into each other. I’ve successfully avoided my ex thus far by changing my routines – I never shop on the weekends anymore, or if I do, I don’t go to the grocery store I know he goes to. The one time I did happen to go to the store and see his car in the parking lot, I made the executive decision to buy my eggs (and after seeing his car, a bottle of wine) from the corner store instead.

In my case – I know the day is coming. In just one week from today, I will be coming face-to-face with my ex for the first time since our breakup two months ago. You see, we had planned a trip together to visit his family in Mexico. Since the tickets were already bought and paid for, I decided to hijack said trip (well, the flight part anyway) and instead of visiting his family, I’m going to grab a connecting flight and spend a week on the beach.

He knows that I am coming, so the element of surprise has been taken way – so its doubly important for me to look my best. Unfortunately, I have lost 0 of the 10 pounds I had hoped to lose before seeing him again. Between stress and a little dose of depression I have turned into a snacking machine. So the ‘knock him off his feet with my beauty’ ship has pretty much sailed. In order to make him eat his heart out, I’m going to have to depend on a flattering new outfit or a good pair of Spanx. Most likely both.

I am hoping that I am far enough into this healing thing that seeing him won’t put me in a tailspin, but I find myself making up scenarios in my mind on what could happen when he sees me. I’m pretty sure I’ve spent too much of the last two months watching romantic comedies, because I find myself fantasizing that it will be like one of those ‘moment of clarity’ scenes, where the man realizes he’s been an idiot and begs for the heroine to forgive him. Of course, I would turn him down and get on my connecting flight – leaving him with his family, who will help him to realize that he needs to make a grand gesture to win me back. This would lead him to catch the next flight and race to meet me with roses in hand… Real Jerry Maguire ‘You had me at hello’ type stuff.

I realize you might think this means I’m still a little hung up on him… probably because I am, but I’m really trying not to be.

So – assuming my life doesn’t turn into a RomCom and my ex doesn’t channel his inner Jerry Maguire – once I get on my connecting flight, I’ll be traveling completely alone for the first time in my life – I’ve flown alone, but never vacationed alone. I’ll be staying in a Hostel – also a first. I’m hoping to meet some people I can hang out with and do some touristy stuff. If not, I’m sure I can find some sort of adventure on my own. I know I’m a little above the average age of the typical hostel patron, so I’m hoping they wont shun me for being too old. I’d like to think I have a few fun years left.

So off to shop for an outfit that will make the ex’s jaw drop – or if not him – some other pretty brown boy with an accent that pleases my ear when he says… Yo quiero bailar… One way or another – this Stella is getting her Groove back…Not that I would admit to ever losing it.